Dear Ones,

I usually do not share much about my musings and goings but this one is too good, and too incredible, to be kept silent.

I work as a substitute teacher, usually in elementary schools. I like to schedule my shifts ahead of time, based on grade levels and schools I enjoy working at.

I had scheduled a shift in a school southeast of where we live for Monday, October 21. This was a new school for me. It was an ESOL job, meaning I would be teaching nonnative students of English.

Twice last Friday, when I went over my schedule, I felt the need to cancel that shift. As if a little voice was murmuring in the background, yet more of a gentle nudge. I got intrigued the first time, paid attention yet didn’t do anything. When the whisper came back a few hours later, I heeded it and canceled my shift.

Out of the blue, later that Friday morning, a teacher in a different school (let’s call it AD) where I worked two or three times, emailed me and asked about my availability. I was suddenly available and agreed. She had to confirm my shift and book me. Yet she didn’t. Some two hours later, another teacher for whom I had subbed for two days in mid-September, emailed me. She said she had talked to her colleague (both are 6^th grade teachers) and she had agreed to a sub exchange, with me working in her class. This second person’s class is a tough challenge, with a high level of noise, some troublemakers and other students drawing and studying nothing. I knew about the class and thought it would be a good idea to go back and witness any possible progress. I said, yes.

I was also available on October 24th & 25th and mentioned it to the teacher; she booked me immediately. That was good, yet a little strange. She had told me she would be leaving the school, but not until November 8^th. I thought she might need time to search for a new job.

When I got to AD school on Monday morning, October 21, I learned that the teacher I was subbing for had resigned that Friday prior. She apparently had a most difficult time in class and left early that afternoon, never to return. It must have been very tense because there was an extra-long message of apology from one of the students on the board. One that still stands, at 3 pm on Monday.

Prior to class, I learned that the teacher was not coming back from one of her colleagues and the principal later came to class to share the news. “Your teacher won’t be back and we’ll find a replacement as soon as we can.”

One student knowingly asked, “Is it our fault?”

The morning was interesting and a bit chaotic, with several teachers coming in and the program altered; at some point, the students cleaned the classroom and rearranged their chairs and desks. It gave the class a bit of a respite and more space to navigate throughout.

I found myself in the middle of that situation, with information that I needed to gather to make sense of what had happened, and I asked myself,

Why am I here, “guided” that I was by circumstances beyond my imagining and a persistent inner voice?

To experience chaos?

Or test my inner fortitude?

Or teach me unattachment to outcome?

Or, who knows, to clear something at a much deeper level?

The answer hasn’t been forthcoming and yet there ought to be one. Or two.

As we know, the Universe doesn’t orchestrate life in a rational manner, does it?