Basking in the Numbness of Spiritual Freedom

Basking in the Numbness of Spiritual Freedom

September 5, 2013

 

 

True, I haven’t written for a while; sometimes life offers you a lot of tangible fruits and sometimes you have to make an effort to search for the seeds, wherever they may be hidden. We cleaned the house today; it is always a good feeling to have a fresh house and “exercising” up and down the stairs gives me a chance to think and contemplate, or even listen, to my mind. There are, at times, torturous thoughts and lots of complaining—giving me the impression that I am fighting against a wall; at other times, it is more peaceful and even loving when I practice my “Love meditation”. The mind-feeling of the day felt more like numbness—numbness when nothing seems to be popping out, nothing is moving; the good thing is that nothing negative is showing up. The last few days have been quiet, a bit uneventful, although some mornings felt like a bit like a whirlpool of emotions was in action, before a clearing in the afternoon; it felt like a pattern, or an assault coming from my mind, which didn’t repeat itself today. Numbness—somewhat foggy, is another way to put it. I know there are developments in the working, as always, but today wasn’t the day to approach them in the slightest.

 

This is what spiritual journeying is about, with its meanders, curves, deepening, silences, plateaus and surprises around the bend. It is interesting that Master Djwhal has asked us, in his recent teaching, to think back about the last ten years of our lives. What has happened, where was I ten years ago? This is not an easy exercise.

 

And yet three people from the religious organization I used to belong reappeared, almost out of the blue. We saw over the weekend a couple we hadn’t seen for 4 years. Interestingly, they also left the religious organization, and we didn’t know it. Perhaps they saw the light at the end of the tunnel, knowing that each of our tunnels is different. There was still some animosity (toward the organization) in one of them and it seems she wasn’t completely over the emotional turn. It is good to ‘plainly’ leave things behind and move on, without rancor. Life is a journey, and we all learn. Out of the blue, as well, a leader from that same organization called me in order to request help for one member whose son had left for France. I was happy to help and it gave me a chance to get reacquainted with that person with whom I use to “work.” We have some good vibes going, spent a lot of time together visiting members, and it was pleasant to see him again on Tuesday. All of this takes me back a long time, and it seems that, 10 years ago, a seed was perhaps planted which germinated and gave fruit to my need (and assertion) for spiritual freedom! A freedom that I claimed over Thanksgiving in 2007 Day—what better day of the year there is? So yes, thinking back about those last ten years gives me a chance to reflect as well on my solo journey—and what an interesting journey it has been with, indeed, some numbness!

 

At the same time ten years ago, I reached out to a woman in Worcester, MA—her name is Virginia Swain—who was offering a program in Reconciliation Leadership. I studied with her for about two years and this period really marked the beginning of an ‘accentuated spiritual search.’ Now that I can look back, what I discovered about myself then—and the inklings that I perceived about my true self—gave me the impetus to get going, and to search some more in different corners of Life. I am especially grateful for two residential seminars I attended in Tiverton, RI, which led me to the core of who I am. The first one, “Work, Peace, Purpose and Place,” was really a gentle detonator for searching a ‘something else’, an activity, or a passion that would match and appease (or put at ease, really) the soul being that I am. It started a process, pulled a thread in me that I am still following today. So my gratitude goes to Virginia and the two folks that led those two seminars. Interestingly, she will be celebrating the 20th anniversary of the center she founded with her husband (Center for Global Community and World Law) and invited me to join her at the United Nations this month. It will be a pleasure to see her again.

 gratitude

Synchronicities sometimes happen anew, offering opportunities to meet people who may take us into a new direction; in my present case, these “people coming back into my life” took me back to a point of departure when Life tickled me with a sweet message. I am glad that I was able to sense and follow it along the way.

 

Happy synchronicities!

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The Power of Forgiveness and Love

I read the message below yesterday morning as we were about to embark onto our journey to the Strasburg Railway Company, near Lancaster, PA—a 2-hour drive from home. It looks as if this message from Master Jesus has accompanied me all day, especially the passages related to judgment and forgiveness (6th and 7th paragraphs).

 

Later that afternoon, as we sat in our coach car, ready to enjoy our 20 minute ride to Paradise, PA, I noticed three young women sitting across from us, two of them clearly overweight. I looked at them from time to time and decided to send them loving thoughts, instead of my usual judgmental energy. I kept the Love flowing throughout the journey from and back to Strasburg.

 

It is interesting to me how weight insecurity can ‘pursue’ a person for so long. Forty years ago, I was teased and at times humiliated in school for the weight and ‘cheeky cheeks’ that I carried; certainly more than I wanted to with, at times, no place to hide. I shed off that extra weight as I approached my twenties, and yet remained insecure to the point I had to host negative thoughts toward obese people—a possible self-defense mechanism. It feels nowadays that a karmic burden is being lifted off my shoulders as I am finally able to transform my negativity into the primal energy of Love. Master Jesus’s message may very well be the “straw that finally broke the camel’s back of my insecurity.”

 

Our day didn’t end in Strasburg and I had a wonderful adventure back home. Our son was playing in his bedroom and threw one of his toys in my face. Despite the challenge of trying to reason a three-year old, I made sure that he understood it was not an appropriate behavior. To my surprise, he immediately apologized and offered me a hug. I happily hugged him and thought to myself, “There is no way I can bear a grudge now!”

 

It is only a few hours later that I realized that he wasn’t responding to my words, but rather to the loving energy that I had harbored during the day.

 

new desert

 

What you may experience in yourselves or others as less than perfect is illusory

August 16, 2013 by John Smallman

Humans have an interesting but most unfortunate and hurtful habit of attaching themselves rather inflexibly to their beliefs – the beliefs with which they identify and which they use to define themselves, mostly as good and honorable – and then to regulations based on those beliefs, whereupon they set out to impose them on others who have a different and “wrong” set of beliefs.  Each group attempts to disparage and destroy the beliefs of the others, first by means of “reason,” rhetoric and persuasion, and when that fails, as it inevitably does, the decision is frequently made to use force, but always most righteously and sanctimoniously!

You have been doing this for eons, but now, finally, many are aware or are becoming aware that this form of problem resolution just does not work – in fact, it is really not intended to work, just to produce a winner, my side – and that no one has all the right on their side.  You are realizing that you are humans of limited wisdom and intelligence, and for peace to prevail you have to respect all others, communicate openly and honestly together, and then cooperate, not “for the greater good,” but for the good of all.  That is Love in action.

Presently, in the Arab world, this is being demonstrated most brutally, and many who would have previously been unaware, let alone interested in conflicts taking place so far from their own backyards are now seeing that the only way forwards to lasting peace in the world is by honoring one another, not by judging and condemning one another’s beliefs and opinions.

With so much violence erupting across the world as people’s unresolved, denied, and hidden issues burst into the forefront of their consciousness, and as they project them on to others in fear and loathing, it is even more essential for you, the Light-bearers and way-showers, to engage fully in your ongoing spiritual task.  You chose to incarnate to do this, to assist those who were most deeply asleep – the ones you now see behaving so violently – and now is the time to intensify your efforts.  You can do this most effectively by constantly calling to mind your preplanned intention for your current Earth lives which is to be to be the open and free-flowing conduits though which Love from the divine field may be channeled continuously.  Channeled to every area and every person who is finding themselves either terrifyingly embroiled in their own seemingly unacceptable, even evil, personal issues, and also to those onto whom the anger and violence of those unhappy ones is being projected.  It is indeed a task of mammoth proportions, as you knew when you chose to be part of it, but you have absolutely limitless assistance from the limitless resources that your Father so willingly and lovingly provides, and so your success, and therefore humanity’s success is divinely ensured.

The amount of time that takes – and do not forget that time is also illusory – depends on the strength and intensity of your collective intention to be clear and unobstructed conduits through which Love can flow.  That is why becoming constantly and consciously aware of this intent is so important.  You made the intent before you incarnated, and so Love is flowing through you, and it will continue to do so.  However, by also consciously focusing your human attention on this divine task that you have undertaken, you enormously increase its efficacy.  That is why you chose to incarnate as humans at this moment in history instead of just assisting from the spiritual realms.  You saw this task as a wonderful opportunity to physically spread and share the Love from which you were all created, and so it is.

As Light-bearers and way-showers, like the loving guides and teachers of previous eras, you are here on Earth to demonstrate Love in action, and as you do so you demonstrate that It works.  Your history and your own observations have shown you that nothing else does.  It does take courage, which you have in abundance, but it also takes a willingness to learn from your own errors and from those of others. Not by judging, but by observing and then apologizing for your own errors and by forgiving those that others make.  If you are willing to Love then you are willing to learn, and as humans there is much for you to learn, and this you well know. However, admitting it to yourselves can be difficult because of your ingrained commitment to judging.  Remember, judgment invariably starts as self-judgment which, because it is so painful, you almost immediately attempt to project onto someone else.  And that never works.  What you have identified and projected is quickly denied and then buried below your conscious level of awareness.

The way out of this self-made trap is forgiveness!  Acknowledge your error, no matter how grave and unacceptable it may appear to be.  Allow yourselves to understand and accept that you do make errors – errors that you would judge unconscionable, unacceptable, even unforgivable in others – that it is part and parcel of being human, of life in the illusion, and then lovingly and willingly forgive yourselves.  If you retain unacknowledged within the deep and hidden recesses of your minds memories of shameful, “evil,” unforgivable thoughts, words, or deeds that you have committed, they will be coming to the surface and demanding your attention.  Look at them, admit to them, and forgive yourselves.

You are all the beloved children of God.  There are no exceptions to this divine truth. You did not create yourselves, God did, and all that He creates is perfect!  What you may experience in yourselves or others as less than perfect, or even mightily evil, is illusory.  God’s divine creation is Real, Perfect, and rests eternally in the field of divine Love.  Nothing else is real or exists; it is but a momentary dream, or perhaps a horrific nightmare, depending on the life path you chose to follow.

You are enfolded in the field of divine Love which is whispering to you, singing to you, calling to you to wake up and enjoy the wonder of Reality.  Focus on being loving, and on seeing love everywhere—it is everywhere!—and allow yourselves to wake.

Your loving brother, Jesus

http://johnsmallman2.wordpress.com/2013/08/16/what-you-may-experience-in-yourselves-or-others-as-less-than-perfect-is-illusory/

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God Speaks to Each of US

As I am about to embark on a brand new fifty-two-year cycle, per the Thirteen Moon calendar, I would like to share a lovely poem from Rainer Maria Rilke, entitled God Speaks to Each of Us.

 

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.

Flare up like flame
and make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~

This poem gives me an opportunity to reflect on the way through which I apprehend God, and what it means to me. Interestingly, the ‘mundane’ question “Do I believe in God?” doesn’t speak to me; knowing that, in the first place, God may very well be an unfathomable entity or cosmic force.

 

I would rather reflect on my own behavior, my own words, my own thoughts, and see if they increase goodwill in the world, or if they don’t. One of those behaviors this evening, during dinner, certainly didn’t increase goodwill, and I apologized to our son. I rapidly saw why and how it occurred and I will do my best to get to the source of it and rectify its cause.

 

I do not feel the need to share with others my so-called ‘apprehension’ of God, except, of course, this is what I am doing tonight! Many individuals and institutions throughout the ages have justified their words and actions ‘under’ the name of God, but do they, in the first place, know who God is?

 

I like the way Rosicrucians qualify the concept of God. They talk about “the God of my Heart, the God of my Realization.” Come to reflect on this position, it makes spiritual sense, especially in the light of a human heart’s expansion—my heart’s expansion. I believe  that the more I expand my heart, the more I invite other people in, especially without their conscious knowing, the more I work on removing the veils that ‘clog’ my heart, the more I ‘realize’ God. When an old negative belief or attitude about a person suddenly turns positive, I can tell that my heart is expanding; I can tell that I am getting closer to God or what it means.

 

The heart is where the ‘seed of God’ dwells, and it is present in each and every one of us, as Rainer Maria Rilke so beautifully says.

 

To end this little prologue about God, and to close my first fifty-two year cycle, I would like to share a quote about God, which came to me in French in a Martinist publication (author unknown). I must admit that I like the quote!

 

Dieu ne peut pas se contempler sans s’aimer et ne peut pas s’aimer sans s’engendrer lui-même/elle-même.

 

God cannot contemplate Him/Herself without Loving Him/Herself, and cannot love Him/Herself without engendering Him/Herself.

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My Hero’s Journey

My Hero’s Journey

August 1, 2013

 

 

“The first function [of mythology in tradition] is awakening in the individual a sense of awe and mystery and gratitude for the ultimate mystery of being.” (Joseph Campbell, Pathways to Bliss, page 104)

 

 

I recently read the final chapter in Joseph Campbell’s Pathways to Bliss, Mythology and Personal Transformation. I bought this book two years ago and, interestingly, was never able to go past page 80 or so. The first chapters of the book felt like a hump I couldn’t go over, and yet Campbell’s themes of mythology and inner transformation kept tickling me right beneath the surface of my being. His book had been sitting on my shelf for a reason. It felt as it were part of my psyche’s circle of friends, observing and witnessing something in me from the outside.

 

Two days ago, after rereading a story from the Introduction of Pathways to Bliss that I copied into my journal on April 8, 2012, I picked up the book again, and here I was, hopping way beyond the first few chapters and devouring the final chapter: The Self as Hero. As I reflected on my life path for the last two years, I realized that I couldn’t possibly follow the chronological order the book when The Self as Hero turned out to be the chapter that encapsulates my own journey, and especially the two-year exploration of my inner, under-world that I undertook with my coach. Together, we unearthed numerous signs and symbols, guiding posts and I even discovered  a teacher that popped out of a cuckoo box; reading The Self as Hero allowed me to make sense of both my own voyage and Campbell’s somewhat theoretical roadmap.

 

Here, I wish to summarize, or possibly paraphrase, the Hero’s Journey while reflecting on my own, as some of it feels quite familiar and some of it doesn’t really click.

 

I found last year on Facebook a diagram explaining the journey of the Hero as described by Campbell (see diagram below). These are the very stages he addresses in the chapter The Self as Hero, knowing a more complete description of the process appears in his book, The Hero with a Thousand Faces (2004).

 

This Hero’s journey is “what James Joyce calls the monomyth: an archetypal story that springs from the collective unconscious. The basic story of the hero’s journey involves giving up where you are, going into the realm of adventure, coming to some kind of symbolically rendered realization, and then returning to the field of normal life” (p. 113).

 

The journey starts with what Campbell calls ‘the call to adventure.’ It means leaving the familiar and entering a new realm, with all its meanders, surprises and bumps. Before all, it means going within, being willing to take a deep dive into the unknown. Back into the real world, I now associate this journey with the spelunker’s exploration of the world down under, the inner world—what my coach called ‘my inner landscape.’

 

 

 

 The hero's journey

 

 

 

 

 

If the call to adventure is heeded, then the “individual is invoked to engage in a dangerous adventure. It’s always a dangerous adventure because you’re moving out of the familiar sphere of your community. I call this crossing the threshold. This is the crossing from the conscious into the unconscious world, but the unconscious world is represented in many, many, many different images, depending on the cultural surroundings of the mythos” (page 114).

 

Further on, Campbell describes this crossing of the threshold ‘as an active door,’ or a portal. In my experience, this is also a dangerous place because this is where you start to isolate yourself from the rest of the day to day world. You can talk to your friends and family about your inner journey, but there is only one person to which it makes total sense, total worth: you!

 

I had a sense of entering a new place, a deeper corner of my psyche when I started talking to the person I call ‘the old man’ (the one who got out of the cuckoo box in the spring of 2012 in one of my meditations). He may serve as a guide or teacher to me; he also feels like an ‘old soul.’ I started connecting with him during my first visit with my coach, on June 24, 2011 (see the Morceaux Choisis tab for the full account). And yet, while I could sense an old man’s existence then, it is not until the end of our first trip to Moscow last year (February 2012) that I had the conscious feeling that I was connecting with ‘someone within’ and that this ‘someone’ was responding, instantly. This is what I call ‘ a knowing phenomenon,’ similar to the knowing or feeling that aircraft pilots may experience when they break the sound barrier, except that, in this case, the barrier is within and the area being ‘progressively exposed and revealed ’ is a source of unfiltered knowledge and wisdom. There I was, and there I go from time to time when I need guidance or when my curiosity leads me back to the old man.

 

“Once you have crossed the threshold, if it really is your adventure—if it is a journey that is appropriate to your deep spiritual need or readiness—helpers will come along the way to provide magical aid. This may be some little wood sprite or wise man or fairy grandmother or animal that comes to you as a companion or as an adviser, letting you know what the dangers are along the way and how to overcome them” (page 116).

 

“After you have received the magical aid, you will have a series of increasingly threatening tests or trials to pass. The deeper you get into this gauntlet, the heavier the resistance. You are coming into areas of the unconscious that have been repressed: the shadow, the anima/animus, and the rest of the unintegrated self; it is that repression system that you have to pass through. These tests, then, symbolize self-realization, a process of initiation into the mysteries of life.”

 

Campbell goes onto describe four kinds of hurdles along the path:

  • ·         “The first is the symbol of the erotic encounter with the perfect beloved” (meeting the goddess).
  • ·         “The second kind of fulfillment along the road of trials is what is called atonement with the father, and this trial is definitely a male rite of passage.”
  • ·         The third station along the path to fulfillment is apotheosis where you realize that you are what you are seeking.”

 

“These are the three main realization symbols: the hieros gamos, the reconciliation with the animus and the anima; the atonement with the father; and apotheosis, coming to realize the full scope of yourself, like Gautama seated under the bo tree becoming the knower of himself as an incarnation of the Universal Buddha consciousness” (page 118).

 

  • ·         “The fourth kind of realization is of a quite different spirit. Instead of a slow progress through the mysteries, there is a violent rush through all obstacles and the seizing of the desired boon: the Promethean theft of fire…In any case, once the treasure has been grabbed, there is no reconciliation with the powers of the underworld—no sacred marriage, father atonement, nor apotheosis—so there is a violent reaction of the whole unconscious system against the act, and the hero must escape” (page 118).

 

Now that I read, a posteriori, about the underworld journey detailed and categorized, so to speak, it is somewhat difficult to relate to every segment of Campbell’s description; tests, excruciating inner pains, trials and tribulations, from out of nowhere (i.e. where you would expect them the least)–certainly. I had difficulty relating to some people—in this case, spiritual folks with whom I used to commune—definitely, and suffering pain and humiliation in the process to the point that the only way became the way out, despite a new commitment made a few months prior. All of that is familiar to me, as well as dealing with ‘older pains’ generated in my childhood, which I thought I had healed for a number of years but which were not completely closed (cicatrisées in French). Of course, there is always someone titillating those old wounds, so that the process is even more arduous. You then keep questioning yourself, your motives and your progress. This is what I would tell in general terms about my journeying process for the first few stages. Having a coach by my side—a coach who is also a sound healer—was of incredible assistance and I only now realize, a few months later, how beneficial Lev’s assistance was to me. Lev was the magical aid Campbell talks about, as well as another dear friend. Keeping a journal, having a dialogue with my spiritual guide on a regular basis, was part of my weekly diet; and of course, sharing all of this, as well as my pains and challenges, with my coach. It felt like I was offering something to the Universe—something that made up an old skin that I was going to shed—and that I was heard in return.

 

Two episodes deserve greater attention and details. Atonement with the father in the first place. I studied and research the concept, and yet it made little sense to me. I understand the concept, in its Christian sense as well as the notion of ‘at-one-ment’, but for whatever reason, none of them sank in. Why was it so? I believe I may learn down the road and reflect back to my ‘passage in atonement.’ To be honest, the most meaningful testimony I found was on a website, where people discussed the notion. Particularly this quote from a woman with whom I later met on Facebook in order to thank her:

 

Atonement in terms of time; time to reconcile all the things we need to trash from last year so that we may walk into 2013 with renewed minds and with Great Expectations. He alone atoned for our sins on the cross so that we may have life and life more abundantly. “It is finished.” We need to walk it out in Faith, talk it out in Faith and be the environment of Faith. For it is impossible to please the Lord without faith! Our belief in His Enduring Faithfulness to us activates our willingness to be available for His Able. We atone by the sacrifice of being available for others who are in need. [This sentence makes a lot of sense to me] So often others are in need of us to step into the gap when others are unable to step up to the plate. What better way to make atonement than offering the gift of Love to those who are unloved? [I would say now ‘What better way to make atonement than offering the gift of Love to those unable to receive Love’]“…”And now abide faith, hope and love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

At the same time I was struggling to understand this concept, I saw it as a mystical sign that I found a ‘left over’ pamphlet in the post office where we check our mail. It was coming from the Franciscan Friars of the Atonement in New York State and it offered a prayer to St. Augustine. I visited their website a couple times, read the prayer three or four times, and then moved on.

The second episode I want to mention is the “seizing of the desired boon,” in Campbell’s words. It brings back the memory of a chart analysis that an esoteric astrologist in Scotland did for me two years ago. One of the myths he used to warn me is that of Hercules seizing the Girdle of Hippolyte, the Queen of the Amazons. At that time, I simply believed it was important for me to be patient and not rush through the process of spiritual walking. Now that I read it again, I am not sure I have gotten the full understanding of this archetype, especially in light of Campbell’s stage of the Return (gift of the goddess) and the balance of masculine and feminine energies. What might this gift be?

In this myth Hercules, as a hero, symbolises the individual on the spiritual path. He was required to obtain Hipplolyte’s girdle which had been given to her by Venus. The girdle symbolised the unity of spirit and matter and the motherhood of the spiritual principle within. Hippolyte was about to give Hercules the girdle but he killed her and seized it. He was aghast at his error. After leaving the bereft land of the Amazons Hercules managed to redeem himself by rescuing Hesione, the daughter of the King of Troy, from the belly of a sea monster by entering through the monster’s throat and hacking his way out though its belly.

The symbolism of this myth essentially relates to self-annihilation as a means to psycho-spiritual metamorphosis.Hippolyte symbolises, not only mother matter, but all of her attendant secrets and the ability to nurture human consciousness enabling its ascent to the peak of human awareness as symbolised by the mountain of initiation. Hercules as a hero, depicting symbolically the individual on the spiritual path, initially views the feminine principle here as a challenge instead of being aware of its potential gifts. He redeems himself by entering the belly of a sea monster, symbolising a journey into his own unconscious, to rescue or reinstate this aspect of his psyche.

I am suggesting this particular myth, Gilles, as I feel that the archetypal principles portrayed here may resonate to your experiences with your mother and your perceptions of the feminine or ‘goddess’ principle on the basis of this relationship.

There is still much to ponder for me in these three paragraphs!

The final phase, the Return, is the last stage described by Campbell, when the individual completes the loop and reenters the conscious realm with his or her boon.

“There comes the crossing of the line again, what I call the return across the threshold. The line through which you passed when you went into the abyss is the line through which you pass when you leave the powers behind…The whole idea is that you’ve got to bring out again that which you went to recover, the unrealized, unutilized potential into the world; that is to say, to you living in the world. You are to bring this treasure of understanding back and integrate it in a rational life. It goes without saying, this is very difficult. Bringing the boon back can be even more difficult than going down into your own depths in the first place” (page 119).

By giving the concrete example of an artist, Campbell then goes on to emphasize the importance of sharing ‘one’s treasure of understanding’ with the world. “The point is that what you have to bring is something that the world lacks [these were the very words of my coach in the beginning of our journey, while sharing with me a piece of homework called “The Seven Principles of Living My Heart’s Purpose”] that is why you went to get it. Well, the daylight world doesn’t even know that it needs this gift you are bringing. There are three possible reactions, then, when you come to the return threshold, carrying your boon for the world (page 120). [I’ll let you discover for yourself what these three possible reactions are.]

In The Self as Hero chapter, there is only one stage that Campbell doesn’t address—for whatever reason. This is what you find at the bottom of the diagram, this thing called “death and rebirth,” associated with the Abyss.

In my journey, the notion of the abyss made me revisit consistently, over a period of time, the first episode of the Lord of the Rings entitled The Fellowship of the Ring. Toward the end of that first episode, Gandalf the Grey and his crew enter a giant above-ground cave. After some progress, they penetrate in what looks like a basilica, with very high ceilings and numerous pillars. They almost meet the end of their rope in that ‘basilica,’ surrounded by an innumerable number of Orcs, the ill-intentioned servants of Saruman the White. What comes to their rescue, paradoxically, is a fierce monster’s roar that scares away the army of Orcs. Yet, the most challenging part remains for the crew: to face the dragon monster, get across a crumbling bridge, and find their way into the open on the other side of the mountain. In an epic scene, Gandalf keeps the monster at bay while the rest of the crew makes its way to the other side. Gandalf seems to have won the battle with the darkest of forces when one of the monster’s tentacles, coming out of the abyss, grabs his ankle and drags him into the unknown. That is the Abyss I am referring to. I didn’t see myself falling into the abyss; I didn’t feel the monster as a threatening creature, more like an entity that helps soul creatures to reach their true identity through a process of transformation and purification.

Interestingly, when Lev ask me what I wanted to tell or ask the monster, I became curious of his identity, of what it stands for. The response came pretty quickly and clear: karma.

 

Why did I need to run for safety is another question that came toward the end, and the insight that I got is related to what I wrote at the beginning of this page. The monster might very well be a friendly monster in the end; one which is helping me cleanse my karma at the deepest level, down to the bottom of my psyche. Thank you monster!

 

This was not the end of my mystical experience though; on February 12, 2013, the day before Ash Wednesday, I did a meditation and went back into the building from that scene in the Lord of the Ring, the one I call the basilica.

As I moved closer to the heart of the basilica, I could see a body lying on top of a stone coffin. This was a Templar’s body and his long sword was lying on top of him. He was wearing a helmet. I had visions of Templars before but this is the first one I saw in a sacred building of that kind.

It felt as if something, or possibly someone, in me, had died.

On February 14, the day after Ash Wednesday, I had my regular session with my coach. I had sent him my notes explaining the vision I had in the basilica. We went back to that sacred building that morning and I could see the Templar, alive, receiving inspiration and courage before embarking on his personal crusade. It felt as if I were receiving a blessing from the Source that went all the way up to my sword and into my body through the root chakra—moving up into my body.

 

At the same time, upon my coach’s questioning, the verse of the prayer that came to mind, from St. Francis of Assisi, is:

 

Lord, make me an instrument of your Peace.

 

It felt like a rebirth—a rebirth where I received a new mission; a mission to spread Peace and Love upon Earth. This is only the beginning of my new life and, a few months later, I can only attest that I have a long way to go to bring back that “boon of Peace and Love” and share it with humanity.

 

I am grateful for having found in Joseph Campbell’s Pathways to Bliss a thread that helps me understand how life unfolds in the inner realm once an individual decides to dive in and embark on this lengthy and painstaking endeavor. Yet,and the metaphor is easy—there is light at the bottom of the cave, and this light may feel more like divine Light; a light that is coming from the core of one’s being.

 

To bring an end to this novel of mine, to My Hero’s Journey, I would like to quote the last few lines of Joseph Campbell’s chapter entitled Personal Myth (still in Pathways to Bliss).

 

There are something like 18 billion cells in the brain alone. There are no two brains alike; there are no two hands alike; there are no two human beings alike. You can take your instructions and your guidance from others, but you must find your own path, just like one of Arthur’s knights seeking the Grail in the forest.

 

It is this quality of the Occidental spirit that strikes other cultures as so silly and romantic. What is it we are questing for? It is the fulfillment of that which is potential in each of us. Questing for is not an ego trip; it is an adventure to bring into fulfillment your gift to the world, which is yourself.

 

There’s nothing you can do that’s more important than being fulfilled. You become a sign, you become a signal, transparent to transcendence; in this way, you will find, live, and become a realization of your own personal myth (page 108).

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Happy New Year – and a feeling of Lightness

Today, July 26, is the first day of the year in the Thirteen Moon calendar (http://www.lawoftime.org/thirteenmoon.html). This calendar was introduced to me by my coach two years ago (Lev gave me a copy of the calendar) and it didn’t make any sense to me at the time. It is taking on more significance now as we walk into a new era, thanks to a gentle soul in Mexico with whom I have been Thirteen Moon-conversing.

The calendar is divided into thirteen moons of 28 days, which makes 364 days. The ‘in between’ day, which falls on July 25th, is called “the day out of time.” This day ‘stuck in between’ could also be a time for spiritual integration or galactic synchronization.

Today, the first day of the year, is the day of Yellow Galactic Seed. Its theme reads as “I harmonize in order to target modeling awareness. I seal the input of flowering with the galactic tone of integrity. I am guided by the power of elegance.”

Happy New Year to all of you!

A certain feeling of Lightness has been with me since my “cocoon of Love” experience last week. It feels as if a veil has been lifted–a new one–and I can see with different, possibly lighter, eyes. A walk in our neighborhood this evening turned out into a new encounter as I talked for the first time with a ‘neighbor’ four blocks away. We first connected thanks to his dog, Gypsy, who was barking, as we were on our way to a favorite pass time: train watching! He is originally from a coal mining town south of Pittsburgh, and both his mother and grand-father are from Croatia. I am amazed once again at the ‘speed of connection’ that manifests while talking to human beings. Love must be at work!

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In a Cocoon of Love

In a Cocoon of Love

July 20

 

 

I realized I haven’t reflected and written for a long, long time. I feel the need to do it this evening, due to what happened during the past week.

 

We returned this evening from a 16-day state-tour of Washington, Oregon and Colorado. It was a nice trip that allowed us to explore new landscapes and sceneries, and to possibly set the first marks for a new path, for a new way of life.

 

I have been reflecting in the past couple days on the meaning of this trip; in fact more seriously since Wednesday when I asked myself, “What are you searching for?” What are you searching for (spiritually) while exploring new (physical) territories?

 

It looks like we won’t be moving to any of these three states any time soon. So why did we go visit with that ultimate possibility in mind? There is something else at play here, something spiritual, and it is upon me to find it.

 

The past six days in Colorado have been particularly fruitful from a spiritual perspective. It appears that I conspicuously met Love, in one form or another, every day of the week, starting Sunday evening as we drove up Highway 25 on the way to Fort Collins. I remember the word Love inscribed on the wall of a small white shelter right by the road. The same ‘Love thing’ popped up every day, with lesser or greater intensity.

 

The most potent day was, by far, Wednesday. In the second house we visited that morning, I came upon a little card in the walk-in closet of the parents’ bedroom that quoted, once I turned it over, a passage from Colossians 3:14:

 

And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is Love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony.”

 

This passage stayed with me all week and created a deep imprint, as if new space had been carved into my being. It is hard to explain but it seemed that this card was there for me to embrace as a new stepping stone on my personal path. I realized that my path is indeed a path of Love and the messages of the week were no coincidences.

 

In the following house we visited that morning, I engaged in a wonderful and lengthy discussion with a neighbor, well advanced in age, who had spent six years in the Philippines in the mid 2000’s as part of a missionary assignment. He was the treasurer of the Latter Day of the Saints church in a locale 20 miles south of Manila. My family and I had visited the Philippines in 2009 and I could relate well to what he was describing. My discussion with this human being felt light and it seemed that some sort of energy was binding us at a deeper level. As I returned into the house we were visiting, he got back to the business of mowing his lawn. Quite a meaningful, spiritual encounter!

 

Thursday’s Love message wasn’t as meaningfully human as Wednesday’s. As we were driving east on route 34 toward the Rocky Mountains National Park, I saw on the left hand side what looked like a Jamaican restaurant. The restaurant was located in Loveland, Colorado, and it read, The One Love.

 

We returned to the hotel fairly early on Thursday and had a quiet evening after doing our laundry. Right before I went to bed, I spent time browsing the internet and reading some messages in my inbox. One of them was a recent newsletter from a colleague and friend. The information she shared was interesting and it was all about her, about what she likes or doesn’t like, does or doesn’t do. As I reflected on what I know about her personal path, it made me think about the way I approach the world, not willingly sharing what concerns me—although this is what I am doing right now! I have always been curious and observant of people’s view of the world, perhaps in order to better understand my own. Was it the thought that I gently took with me on my overnight voyage?

 

Early the next morning, before anyone else was up, I spent some time in what seemed to be my ‘meditation chair,’ right by the window of our hotel room. As I entered a deeper part of my self, I had a vision of my friend in a cocoon—a cocoon of Love. The vision and the words that came to me were very clear.

 

As I played with this new concept, I reflected back on the movie we saw in the Seattle Pacific Science Center, The Flight of the Butterflies, that tells the story of the migratory patterns of the royal monarchs. We indeed saw several cocoons in the movie, and one butterfly emerging and morphing out of its temporary habitat.

 

I also thought about my own ‘cocoon migration’ or transformation, if you will. I have been enjoying my cocoon for a number of months now. There will be a time when I will be out on my own, out of my cocoon. Will it then be time for me to nurture other cocoons—cocoons of Love—for those I love, heal and protect?

 

The past 36 hours haven’t given way to any other profound realization. The Love signs seem to have subsided as we flew home. Only this morning did I think that my spiritual journey in Colorado was influenced by the presence of the mountains.

 

Thank you, Mountains!

 

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The search for spirituality

An excerpt from a spiritual manifesto, which sums up people’s evolutionary path very aptly.

“Among all the beings of Creation, at least among those here on Earth, the human species is the only one that can apprehend mystical concepts. However, humans may be incapable of formulating them rationally or fully understanding their meaning. To be sure, there are individuals everywhere in the world who are satisfied to lead purely materialistic lives. However, to those whose consciousness of self is ever so slightly awakened, only the appropriate spiritual nourishment can bring them satisfaction in life. A good many fundamental ideas—such as the reason for our existence on Earth, the concept of good versus bad, karma, the immortality of the soul or reincarnation—are kindled and find widespread acceptance through those contacts that humans have at all times established with the universe surrounding them.”

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Happy Summer/Winter Solstice!

These are the first few words I will post on June 21st, 2013: Happy Summer Solstice to all of you folks in the northern hemisphere, and happy winter solstice to all of you folks in the southern hemisphere! More to come, very soon…

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